LGBT voices from the Levant #nolongeralone

A few months ago, the Human Rights Watch released short snippets featuring video potraits of people from the LQBT community in the Middle East on their FaceBook page. I have specifically chosen those from the Levant (Jordan and Lebanon) and I will be providing the transcriptions in this post.

The topic may be controversial for some but my intention is to learn spoken Arabic. So reserve your judgements and let’s learn Levantine Arabic!

Ready? Yalla!

Elie from Lebanon:

وصار عمري تمنتعش سنة في حدا بالمجتمع بتعرف فيه عارف عني

When I turned 18, someone from my community found out about me

وخبر كل المحيط تبعي

and inform everyone in my circle about it

أصدقائي شغلي جامعة اهلي العايلة

my friends, work, university, parents, the family

وحتى الكنيسة اللي انا كنت عم بتردد اللا

and even the church that I used to frequent

وهيدا كان اصعب اسبوع في حياتي لانو

and this was the hardest week of my life because

لوقت كتير طويل كنت بعدني بقتنع انو هيدا الموضوع في الو غلط معين

for a long time, I was still convinced that this matter [being gay] was wrong

وصرت اقرا كتب عن النفس وكتب بيولوجيا

I started reading books about psychology and biology

لوصل النتيجة انو ما في خلل

till I reached the conclusion that there is no disorder/defect

ولكان لما قريت هول ابحاث العالمية

but when I read these international research

صرت متأكد اكتر انو لأ انا ما في اشي غلط

I became even more sure that no, there is nothing wrong

ما في اشي مش مزبوط او خلل

There is nothing that is not right or defective

لا نفسي ولا عقلي ولا جسدي ولا اي شي

not psychologically, mentally, physically or anything

انا انسان طبيعي

I am a normal human being

ولكن الميول والاحاسيس لعندي والانجذاب الى الأشخاص من نفس الجنس

but my inclination and feelings and attraction are towards people of the same sex

Khaled from Jordan:

كنت احس حالي وحيد

I used to feel alone

انو انا كتير وحيد في كل العالم

that I was the only one (gay person) in the world

reference ما كان في مراجع ما كان في

there weren’t any references

حتى المسلسلات كل شي محظور

even the TV shows were censored

الاشي وحيد كنت نسمع عنه بهاي الفترة انو متلا

the only thing we used to hear about at the time was that…for example,

بمصر كان في اعتقالات

there were arrests in Egypt

او الناس اللي كانو ينقتلوا بالعراق

or people were killed in Iraq

واللي بسجن في سوريا ويشنقوا علنا بايران

and people imprisoned in Syria and publicly hang in Iran

ف على طول كنت اربط انو حرام غلط ما مش لازم حدا يعرف عيب

so immediately I get the impression that [being gay] was forbidden, wrong, nobody should know, it was shameful

طريقة التفكيرتبعتي تغيرت مع السنين

my way of thinking changed with time

يعني رفضت انو انا استحي

I refused to be ashamed

بعد فترة حكيت لواحد من اعز اصدقائي

after a while, I told one of my closest friends

كان قلتلو انو انا مثلي

I told him that I am gay

“مستحيل ما بصدق”

“impossible, I don’t believe you”.

“بعدين بعد فترة قولي “صح انا بحبك زي ما انت ما بيهمني ايش انت

then after a while, he told me “I love you the way you are, I don’t care what you are”.

“قلتلو “اوكي تمام

I said “okay, good”.

Hamed from Lebanon:

اسمي حامد سينو بعمل موسيقى بغني بفرقة اسما مشروع ليلة بلبنان

My name is Hamed Sinno, I’m a musician, I sing in a band called Mashrou Leila from Lebanon

queer وانا

and I’m queer

بطبيعة الحال لما كنت بالمدرسة

Naturally, when I was in school

كان فيه كتير تنمر وتمسخر

there were bullying and mockery

على الاشياء يلي كنت مهتم فيه

over the things that I was interested in

متل موسيقى متل الغنا

like music and singing

كإنو مسخ

As if I was a freak

ما كنت افهم بوقتا انو هيدا شي مش غلط فيي

I didn’t understand at that time that there was nothing wrong with me

هيدا شي غلط بناس يلي حوالي

that instead what was wrong was the people around me

لمجرد مع اني صرت اتعرف عن حالي

till the point that I started introducing myself

كشخص ثائبت انو رجل بيحب رجال

as a person who just happens to love men

وحسيت كأنو هيدا شال عبئ هائل عني

I felt as if a huge burden was lifted off me

لحتى بس بيني وبين نفسي منقدر نتقبل هيدا شي

just by being able to accept the matter between me and myself

صعب هيدا شي خاصة لما بعدنا صغار بالعمر

It’s hard especially when we are still young

وبيضلو صعب بس بيصير اسهل

and it stays hard, but it gets easier

Norma from Lebanon:

انا ما حسيت حالي بنتمي للمجتمع يلي كنت خلقانة فيه

I never felt that I belong in a society that I was born in

انا دايما كان يحطو علي قيود وشروط معينة

They were restrictions and conditions placed on me

يعني من انا وصغيرة

since I was small

ليش هلضحكة بصوت عالي هيك ؟ ,feminine ليش هلقد

Why are you so feminine, why do you laugh so loud?

barbieليش ما تلعب إلا مع بنات ليش تلعب بال

Why do you play with girls? Why do you play with barbie?

وبس اكتشفت كمان وبس عبّرت

When I discovered and expressed

وبس اعلنت عن هويتي الجندرية

and announced my gender identity

كمان ما كان في كتير تقبل ,كان في شوي رفض

there was not much acceptance, there was some rejection.

“?trans انو “انت بدك تكوني

“you want to be trans?”

دقنك شو رح تعملي فيها

What will you do with your beard?

كتافك العراض شو رح تعملي فين

What will you do with your broad shoulders?

اصابيعك التخان شو رح تعملي فين

What will you do with your thick fingers?

بعتقد من لما صارو يقولو صار جلدي تخين

Since they started talking, I developed a thick skin

من كترما سمعت اشيا وقطع علي اشيا بحياتي

from a lot of things I heard and went through in life

يعني خلص صار متل نقطة المي بتيجي علي وبتنزل

I mean that’s it, it became like water, it come and fall [off my skin]

حقوقك هي حقوقي وواجباتك هي واجباتنا

We all have rights, we all have responsibilities

تنيناتنا مناكل تنيناتنا منشرب تنيناتنا منّام تنيناتنا منشتغل

Both of us eat, drink, sleep and work

الاشي ممكن يختلف عني وعنك هو ممكن الميول الجنسية

What may be different between you and me is perhaps our gender orientation

ممكن مع مين بفضل نام او شو بفضل البس

maybe with who I prefer to sleep with or what I prefer to wear

~~~

To hear more of such voices, check them out here

Sooo what do you think about this post? Do you have any questions about the usage of specific words? Let me know in the comment section below 🙂

P.S Don’t forget to subscribe if you haven’t & spread the word about theLevanTongue!

P.S.S Want to get real serious at learning Levantine Arabic and in need of a darn good book? Check out my review of a book that has helped me tremendously in my learning journey here

Learning Spoken Arabic from the LGBT voices of the Levant.